blog.aspergineering.com

I had an amazing revelation this evening, I am free.

I can do what the hell I like and I will still be accepted.
I don’t have to struggle to fit in.
I actually have total freedom from all aspects of society by simple virtue of the fact I don’t quite fit in and have an explanation as to why.
It means I have the wild card in the pack, I can be anyone I want to be and more.
A golden ticket to be, do or have anything I want to.

This evening I remembered all the mad people I have known along the way.
The schizophrenics, the bi-polar, the damaged and derelict.
They all have something in common.
They all know who they are.

I am far from damaged or derelict, however I do have one massive advantage over most of humanity.
I am no longer seeking.
I know who I am.

I spent years trying to figure out where I fitted into the grand scheme of things.
Years failing at being something other than who I am now.
Years trying to graduate from a blatantly ridiculous education system.
Years trying to find friends, a job, a life.
I was a square peg in a round hole.

I am about a third of the way through my life now (I am 46).
And I am lucky enough to have figured all this out, so the next 92 years will be fruitful and fulfilling ones.
Simply put, I am now a square peg in a square hole.

Where I was bewildered by my inability to function socially I am now mildly amused by it.
I don’t care about social boundaries, I no longer find it upsetting that I don’t understand them.
Not having them is fun, great fun!

Okay, I might look uncomfortable at your function if I am too polite to tell you I am bored.
Within my own skin, I am perfectly happy.

Life has a funny way of turning out.
Apparently, awareness of self is an important turning point on the path to higher consciousness.
What I wonder is, if there is more about us the same than is different, how far apart we really are?

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

creative thinker | innovator | visionary