Panic Attacks

Okay.

Panic Away is working.

I can see I initially had generalized anxiety as a child, then as I got older started to add situational anxiety into the mix.

When I was around 17 or 18 I tried smoking grass. While the initial effect left me with a profound at oneness with the Universe, my experience only extended as far as my high school religious teacher’s understanding of Bhuddism.

I really made it all mean something it was not.

Once at the public house that we were walking to, the laughter became an acute panic attack coupled with a feeling I was going mad.

Thirty years later I get to see I have my conversations about enlightenment and my experiences taking drugs collapsed.

My experience of getting high, IS a panic attack. So my experience of panic IS of expanded consciousness.

I am afraid if I expand consciousness too far, I will lose touch with real Mark and never get back.

I hold my breath for ages, then take a series of fast breaths till I get to the point I will faint.

I suspect I may have fainted at some point while “out of it” and don’t recall the event.

Up until the weekend I had a fear of not remembering what I had done.

Or, I would hazard a guess at it being the dentist, or an operation. Maybe how I interpreted something they said while I was under.

What I am really enjoying is being in the game of disappearing panic.

I can live with it sure, I have done it forever.

I can’t live with the conversation I am an enlightened being though, it is ridiculous.

Landmark Education just handed me a profound new understanding of what it is to be human, it is.

My understanding is Landmark is not really about enlightenment. What I have got is enlightenment about enlightenment!

There’s a looking glass sure, the reality on the other side is way deeper than mere reflection and certainly not whacky.

And breathe

See you on the other side,

mark ty wharton