I don’t know why, but something got me thinking. Something has happened to a friend and something from my past flashed into my mind such that I had a bit of an epiphany.
I am seriously considering dropping sarcasm from all my communication.
I am a bit of a joker, thriving on dark twisted humour.
But I have noticed when I use irony I am usually way off the mark, particularly in written communication.
Any forum I join quickly becomes a flame war.
People just don’t get it.
Like me, people with autism take things very literally. I really have a hard time with metaphor and tend to take communication at face value.
And then I attempt to use irony, or sarcasm in my own communication with people. It makes no sense for me to do it, when I have no idea what works and what doesn’t.
I usually end up way off the mark, offending people, when all I want to do is be friends. And it is only when people are my close friends and know my motivation in life is love they get there is no malice.
I communicate with Americans a lot. Tours have nearly been cancelled because of me! It is meant to be a British thing, this dark incisive repetoire we Brits cook up between us.
I actually wonder if it works at all…
See you on the other side of the looking glass,
mark ty wharton
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February 28th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Well said Mark.
I too am not sure of sarcasm’s importance in communication. I’ve found in the majority that it is used as the easy way of telling a human your dismay towards an action a human has made, a slight comment, it can be offensive. Sitting here now I cannot think of one example of sarcasm that I have encountered recently and am pleased with that because it means i’ve not been entertaining sarcasm.
Communication free of it also opens a dimension where literal praise and recognition to someone is true and loving – something that was lost a few decades ago. I have no idea when sarcasm was born, late 50s perhaps? I would say it was something born from an era of youth rebelling against society. In conciousness and in our language literal real, true and sweet ways of talking are frowned upon mostly. I enjoy talking this way with such freedom. Humans I find feel they have to spin so that what they say doesnt sound genuine. It’s also that they are afraid of being genuine, which brings up the question of authenticity. Can we behave genuinely in the majority of interactions in our daily matters? I think we can.
The evolution of sarcasm would be an interesting reading topic. I’ll have to find search it out.
February 28th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
since I have known you I have learnt so much about myself. I have learnt that I used to spend a whole heap of time with unhelpful thoughts and feelings in reposnse to the things people say/the way they say them. Sarcasm is something I always used to get upset to, feeling like people were being nasty, but somehow missing the humour that was also there.
I like the fact that when you say something that is all you say. There is never an undercurrent, never a hidden meaning, just honesty. It has helped me see my responses more clearly.
xx
March 11th, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Some very good points… I do enjoy a good bit of sarcasm but it’s indeed very important to make sure that the others in the conversation understand that what’s being said is not meant to be taken serious. Hence the fact that I mostly omit it from written communication where ensuring this is even harder. Sarcasm can be very powerful in that it can help you when you want to force the listening party to really think about what’s being said and be critical and express their opinion. On the other hand, sarcasm can also be used to really ridicule something or someone which I mostly hate so its a difficult instrument to use correctly. As a rule, I tend to reserve sarcasm for situations where it’s clear that I mostly like the person or subject I’m talking about so I’m not (entirely) serious in what I say.