mark ty-wharton

Something I have learned about myself in the past week or so.

Life is about possibility. Without me, there may never be a Transport
Museum in Biggleswade. In fact at the moment there is no museum at
all. Sure lots of people are having conversations about it, yet nobody
is really doing anything. The focus seems to be on what is not
possible rather than creating a possible outcome then taking actions
consistent with having such a place become a reality.

So what am I doing?

I am introducing myself as a new conversation about museums in
Biggleswade. I have captured the interest of a friend with an
engineering works who can also see it’s possible.

And as the man with the idea, I am the first point of contact. While I
see myself as the founder not the owner, I actually want to create it
so it lives on without me, way beyond my lifetime.

At this present point in time, there is nothing. The museum exists in
my mind and in a conversation I had with a friend. Unless my friend
sees it as possible, the conversation will die. I need to be
responsible for creating the museum in conversation such that my
friend “gets it” and continues to see its potential. Right here, right
now, “I” am the museum.

By making my life work, I am making the museum work. So coming from a
place where there is a museum, what steps do I need to take to get
there?

I recognise I need to operate from a solid base. If my life is in
chaos, I will occur to others as chaotic. People, out there in the
world need to get that this is happening.

So, in doing the housework I am taking the first steps towards
creating a solid foundation for a transport museum.

By managing my breathing, anxiety, panic attacks and subsequent
depression, I am creating the possibility of exemplary customer
service.

I see the world winding down for Christmas and realise I am starting
this project at the perfect time of year.

By the time I have my presentations ready, the local community will be
saying their New Year resolutions and being positive.

Launching ideas on a wave of enthusiasm can only serve the autistic
community I wish to provide employment opportunities for more fully.

This is where the true magic starts, right here, right now!

Visit http://transportarcheum.com to find out more about it.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

mark ty wharton

Okay.

Panic Away is working.

I can see I initially had generalized anxiety as a child, then as I got older started to add situational anxiety into the mix.

When I was around 17 or 18 I tried smoking grass. While the initial effect left me with a profound at oneness with the Universe, my experience only extended as far as my high school religious teacher’s understanding of Bhuddism.

I really made it all mean something it was not.

Once at the public house that we were walking to, the laughter became an acute panic attack coupled with a feeling I was going mad.

Thirty years later I get to see I have my conversations about enlightenment and my experiences taking drugs collapsed.

My experience of getting high, IS a panic attack. So my experience of panic IS of expanded consciousness.

I am afraid if I expand consciousness too far, I will lose touch with real Mark and never get back.

I hold my breath for ages, then take a series of fast breaths till I get to the point I will faint.

I suspect I may have fainted at some point while “out of it” and don’t recall the event.

Up until the weekend I had a fear of not remembering what I had done.

Or, I would hazard a guess at it being the dentist, or an operation. Maybe how I interpreted something they said while I was under.

What I am really enjoying is being in the game of disappearing panic.

I can live with it sure, I have done it forever.

I can’t live with the conversation I am an enlightened being though, it is ridiculous.

Landmark Education just handed me a profound new understanding of what it is to be human, it is.

My understanding is Landmark is not really about enlightenment. What I have got is enlightenment about enlightenment!

There’s a looking glass sure, the reality on the other side is way deeper than mere reflection and certainly not whacky.

And breathe

See you on the other side,

mark ty wharton

I completed The Landmark Forum last night, an empowering three day self-discovery course based on the world famous EST training, originally designed by United States Air Force leadership training consultant Werner Erhard.

The course was made famous by a string of celebrities like John Denver and Mike Oldfield whose careers literally exploded after doing it.

Werner also created The Hunger Project and consults with both Landmark and Harvard Business School.

I spent close to sixty hours in a chair exploring what it is to be human. Kind of a tough call for someone so alienated from society.

So now I am really clear where the spaced out and wacky Mark originates from. I actually connected with me. Not like an existential conversation about connecting with me, but a real connection with my being. I found “I”.

I also discovered I was quite literally born into a conversation for anxiety. Personal to me and not a part of the course. Maybe the reason I only got a fraction of what is possible in the past.

I have been in a state of general anxiety from the day I was born. I was given phenol barbitone when I was a tiny baby and was an agitated child. Pretty extreme. Poor me.

And suddenly here I am 46 years in with glimpses into what it is like to have normal adrenalin levels without using depression as the control factor.

What I really got was I have been using anxiety and panic attacks to manipulate people into giving me special consideration.

What I got to see from my participation in the course is that I don’t breathe properly. I hyperventilate and end up thinking really crazy stuff. And have done it so much, the unreality of it dictates my reality.

It is a very effective way of controlling people. “Look after me or I will lose it” leaves friends and family at their wits end wondering what to do.

Then we dealt with the issue of fear on the course. For some it disappeared. For me, I am in a place where I can take responsibilty for myself and do something about it.

I invent a new beginning for myself and recreate myself as a clearing for the possibility of being truly magical.

And I can see my relationship to my past is dictated by the possibility I invent for my future.

So my experience over the past few days occurs for me as truly magical, right down to the leader Jerry Baden, the flowers and the snow.

I also understood the whole course and was present (in mind at least) to the language right down to the commas.

So what next?

My transport museum conversation is expanding really quickly. I am piecing together key people to make it work and may even have someone lined up to buy the building to put it in.

Landmark disappeared my issues about marketing forever. And, I have partnered with someone to market my book.

I also made a decision to purchase a product which deals specifically with anxiety and panic. To do the program the way it is designed and to complete it.

I ordered Panic Away and have been working through the program.

It is all very grounding.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

mark ty wharton