mark ty-wharton

blog.aspergineering.com

I recently signed up to John Assaraf’s newsletter, after buying his excellent book, The Answer.

I particularly like Law Of Attraction material with a tangeable scientific base and John certainly knows his subject.

On his FaceBook feed John introduced us to his colleague Mike Koenigs, co-founder of TrafficGeyser.

While I find it hard to read facial expressions in a social setting, I like to freeze frame the videos of people who are selling to me from time to time and study their faces.

I am a great believer in micro-expressions. Micro-expressions give away what a person is really like / thinking.

Try it on Joe Vitale for example.

Run one of his sales videos for a bit, then randomly pause it and see what you get. In an all digital world, it is very easy to do. And in the split second of a frozen frame a person will often reveal to you what they are thinking in a micro-expression.

What do YOU get from Joe Vitale?

As a disclaimer, remember depending on who trained them, a GOOD presenter is often taught to present to a single person they hold in their imagination, so what you get, may not be aimed at you personally!

Another author from The Secret, has a micro expression that involves sticking out his tongue in a yah boo sucks “that showed you” manner.

Maybe the person is driven to prove to someone from their past they could make it. Hopefully it is not aimed at us…

Onto the competition.

I was watching the Mike Koenigs video presentation, when my son interrupted me for a glass of milk.

So what do you think he is trying to say!

Comment below…

Best comment gets a free paperback copy of The Logic Of Attraction,

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

mark ty-wharton, creative thinker | innovator | visionary

Buy my book now: http://stores.lulu.com/logicofattraction

Listen to my podcast: http://podcast.aspergineering.com

Blog via email: http://subscribe.aspergineering.com

Schedule me to speak at your event: http://www.autismhero.com

Tweet with me on twitter http://twitter.com/mark_tywharton

blog.aspergineering.com

I have been watching a BBC television series we currently have here in the UK called “The Speaker”.

It follows a competition to find Britain’s best young speaker.

Something struck me.

One of the judges told one of the participants not to ask the audience a question in a speech then not answer it.

Apparently it is bad speaking practice not to “wrap up”.

Okay, here’s another bit of bad speaking practice…

Bollocks!!!

So, if you listen to my podcast it is thought provoking.

Why?

Because I ask questions and leave you thinking.

If you read my blog, you’ll find I often do the same.

People want to be told the answers because they don’t get asked enough questions.

We are told what to do through life by teachers, politicians and others.

And at the end of the day most of them will actually admit they don’t really know what they are doing!

So here I go again…

I have been thinking about integrity.

If I buy something from someone and it is priced £950 plus tax and the vendor tells me they will knock of the tax if I pay cash, am I out of integrity if I buy it?

Answers in the comments please…

Second scenario…

If a tradesman comes to repair something and tells me it is £45.67 plus tax, then tells me he will do it for £40 cash without putting it through the books, am I out of integrity of I choose this option?

I’ll go on to say, the legal answer isn’t the right answer.

For example an anarchist who paid taxes would be out of integrity.

And I am not saying I am an anarchist and another person’s tax is their issue, however, in the grand scheme of things, who am I, if enable another to break the law?

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

For me, Wes Wehmiller was one of the most important members of Duran Duran.

He was weird like me.

Actually it might be truer to say I am learning to be weird like Wes.

Wes had a way with weird that was loveable.

Earlier today I was rudely reminded he is dead.

I recently discovered two signed tour books I was given while touring with Duran Duran.

Wes’ signature appears on one of them.

I looked at it and without thinking much about it then looked at the other book.

The other book is signed by Lamya.

It simply says “Hey Tinley Tins. Keep In Touch”.

We didn’t.

She is dead too.

She died on January 8th this year.

Reading those words shocked me.

Whether she meant for me to keep in touch I don’t know.

The bizarre thing is both Wes and Lamya died, as I understand it, of roughly the same condition.

Looking at the book, Steve Alexander wrote “We’ll work together soon” probably ten years ago and we haven’t done it yet.

So I have to assume they are throw away comments and not get too emotional.

And dead is dead right?

Except the legend that is Wes lives on.

Later in the day, I was archiving Duran Duran master tapes and found a session I recorded with Wes in Paris.

It was for one of my tunes which I put up on a machine during a break (which as I recall involved eating a really oily pizza).

I had a tune I wanted help with and Wes laid down a whole load of bass parts for it.

If I am totally honest, I have no idea what he played. I trusted him so much to come up with the goods, that I literally stuck the machine in record and let him get on with it.

So today, I am putting Wes’ bass parts into Pro Tools, throwing a channel open and listening to Wes Wehmiller.

I also have a disk of Steve Alexander drum loops I recorded.

Perhaps I can fuse the two and make something interesting. A tribute perhaps?

So do I need these reminders of friends dearly departed?

Well no…

Like the tour laminates I gave away earlier this year, money cannot replace them.

So guess what?

I want to give the tour books away.

No more writing competitions though.

This time I want hard cash!

I have registered with http://buyoncegivetwice.com and will be running an auction for items to benefit my charity of choice, the Autism Research Centre here in Cambridge, England.

Details of that next week.

Without further adieu, I am packing my virtual bags and leave you in the capable hands of my guest bloggers.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

Gina has been working on the comments for my anxiety e-book this evening, while I have been designing the cover.

I am really pleased with it overall and will be working on the final manuscript over the weekend.

I hope to be able to deliver the finished article sometime on Monday.

The download will be free, while a printed copy will be available from Lulu.

Now talking of printed copies of things, I have a request.

If you haven’t already done so, please go and buy my first book.

If you are not in a hurry, please buy the printed copy, or order it from your library.

The process is actually really simple.

Take a note of this number with you: ISBN: 978-1-4092-6028-8

Join your local library (if you haven’t already).

Ask them to order the book for you.

You will be helping me, as well as hundreds of people in your area who might not otherwise find out about it.

Now, while digging around looking for the photograph I am using on the cover, I discovered more Duran memorabila, so I am going to have another competition.

All will be revealed next week. (And no, it’s not the master tapes

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

It is with surprisingly great pleasure, I am able to announce a winner for the Duran Duran tour laminates competition.

There are some things in life you just don’t want to let go of, and memories of a career with one of the iconic bands of this century and last is one of them.

With such a high standard of entries, and because this has always been about giving something back to a community that supported me for so long, I asked a friend for help judging the entries.

Today’s blog is Todd Silva’s blog really.

Todd’s inspirational Give Away A Dollar A Day program…

can be found here http://giveawayadollaraday.com

Try it, it’s fun and it works…
______________________________________________________________

Hi Mark,

I’ll tell ya, these were some great entries and some of them pretty tough to judge! But I think I have come up with a winner…

April… Her’s was the longest at close to 800 words, and well over the 250 that you asked for. However, she answered every question you asked in your Access All Areas blog, fully and in detail. But the biggest reason I liked hers best was because it just made me feel GOOD. I felt happy when I finished reading it, and so I give April the numero uno slot!!

Actually, no one really came close to the 250 word mark, so we’ll toss that out now…

Fabiana… Was number two. I really wanted hers to be first, because she wanted to give them away to Marcelo, so there’s that giving thing that tugged at my heart. The only reason she’s two is because April won out on the happy factor.

Guille… Was third. I liked Guille’s story but I especially liked the end because of his Duran collector’s website. So I think he would take very good care of the laminates and would cherish their value.

Cheryl Beese… Came in fourth. Cheryl didn’t say why she should have been picked, but I loved her great humor all the way through.

This was not easy, Mark, they were all good, including all the others who I didn’t mention above. But I had to pick a winner, and it is April.

I also, after going through this, think that this was one of the most creative ways for letting go of the passes that I know you are having a hard time letting go of. This contest was fantastic, as was really clear by the entries. I think you are probably a genius!

Blessings to you my friend,

Todd
______________________________________________________________

Again thanks to Todd Silva, for his vision and for judging the competition.

Todd’s inspirational Give Away A Dollar A Day program…

can be found here http://giveawayadollaraday.com

Try it, it’s fun and it works…

THE WINNING ENTRY:

I’ve played the piano since grade school. But that is not the main reason why Nick is my favourite member of Duran Duran. A die-hard Duranie since 1981, I was first and foremost drawn to Nick by his looks. His eyes are the deepest of green. His smile is infectious. You just can’t help smiling when he smiles! In the 80s, men wearing make-up was popular. I was impressed when Nick continued wearing make-up to present day. He is an individual that does what he likes and never conforms to what is “popular”. His musical abilities add that golden touch to each and every Duran song that makes them special. I have met him briefly 3 times in the past 9 years, and he’s always tried to “touch” as many fans as he could. I love photography so there, another common interest. None of my friends understood “Interference” but I did. In May 2008 after their concert in Chicago, I was blessed by having him autograph my own copy that I bought when it came out originally back in 1984. It was well worth the 24 year wait!
My name would be quite poetic if I were married to Nick: April Rhodes. Traveling and seeing people, places and things I’ve never seen before would be a thrill. I believe that even though he’s seen something dozens times, showing something to me, his wife, would be like seeing it for the first time through my eyes, and he’d love it more than the first time. Nick has a personal side that he keeps to himself, saving it for the special one in his life. During those times, we’d stay in and watch a movie. Indulge in photographing each other as we desired. Sharing our deepest secrets and fantasies then making each others dreams come true. Having some wine and dancing to soft music before spending time together as we shared our love as husband and wife. Family is very important. The public outings would be fun to attend as we share common interests in the various media of art, movies, and music. Besides, I love to dress up, and I’m not shy, so talking to anyone about anything is a natural trait. He’d never have to worry about me stepping on his toes, being “clingy,” showing off or pretending to be someone I’m not. I would support him and understand that he has female fans. Not a reason to be jealous!
I’m about to turn 42 in a day. I’m happily divorced and the proud mother of a wonderful 17 year old son. I went through some rough times in my marriage before I finally separated and left him 4 years ago. “Ordinary World” was my constant theme as I kept forging ahead, lots of times in tears, trying to find my niche in life again where I could be happy. The past 4 years have been the happiest of my life! I’m working full time and finally got up the guts to go back to college 24 years after I graduated from high school. Eventually, I will get my degree in Communications. Last year, I took the trip of a lifetime by spending a month in Dublin, Ireland with my best friend whom I went to high school with. Within that month, we hopped over to Birmingham, UK for 3 days to see the city from which Duran Duran came from. Saying my entire journey was memorable is an understatement!
You should pick me as a winner because I am a long time Duranie from deep in my heart. I’ve loved the guys from the beginning, loving EVERY album they’ve put out (even if it wasn’t a “hit”) because it showed yet another evolution in the artistic creativity that makes Duran Duran so special. I love music and have other artists I like. Duran Duran has been THE constant in my life that’s made me dance, laugh and sing outloud, causing laryngitis at their past 2 concerts. *grin* They’ve been a topic for my creative writing, which is something I do almost daily. Most of all, their music has been a strong source of happiness and strength. When “Astronaut” came out and I heard “Sunrise” for the first time, I got tears in my eyes. That’s always been my outlook on life and the phrase “Reach up for the sunrise” has become my personal motto. Duran Duran is a major part of my past and my present. I’ve put “HER NAME IS RIO…” on the top of my back window of my car, which draws looks of confusion or smiles. They’ll always be a part of my future as I’ll forever remember they’ve done for me in a way they’ll never know…and look forward to more wonderful music!
The name of your book is “The Logic of Attraction: The Law of Attraction Explained”.

blog.aspergineering.com

The quality of the entries for the Duran Duran competition have been extraordinarily high and extremely entertaining to read.

For me the competition was always about putting myself in someone else’s shoes, making a connection with someone else’s life, which as a man with Aspergers I often times find hard to do.

I have never really understood the concept of fans, as I myself don’t really have anyone I would be in awe of, I tend to communicate with everyone I meet as an equal and this often leads to conflicts with authority.

Obviously the upside of this is I always perceived myself as working with Duran Duran rather than for them, so in a bizarre twist of consciousness this afforded me a familiarity which has led to long friendships with some of the band members.

I don’t think this is something I could have faked, or something I would suggest others use as a strategy, it is my default state. In many cases (particularly with stage and tour managers) it worked against me, though those guys obviously have their own issues to work through and I wish them well.

As the entries came in I realised I knew some of the people personally and I decided to ask Todd Silva from http://giveawayadollaraday.com to be a judge, not least because his website has inspired me to be unconditionally altruistic and I was concerned I would either favour or fail people I had met in the microcosm of pop that is the world of Duran Duran.

So my first question for entrants is…

Did you meet the main criteria?

Tell me which member of Duran Duran is your favorite and why?
What would your life have been like if?
Describe your life so far?
What is it like now?
Why should I pick you as a winner?

If you are one of the people who did, then Todd Silva is judging your entries now.

Again, in the mean time, go and find out more about him by visiting his website http://giveawayadollaraday.com

Good luck and I anticipate announcing a winner over the next few days.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I watched a really interesting talk about synthesizing happiness on TED earlier. It was so good I recommended everyone watch it and have talked about it all day. (Thanks Amy – @allaboutenergy).

Before I continue, I apologise for being somewhat overloaded through lack of sleep. I am speaking in a competition tomorrow night and have not written the speech yet. In fact I barely know what I am supposed to do.

Call it self sabotage if you like, I am also going to drive 100 miles to go to a Safari Park. We are leaving at 08:00am… It’s midnight now…

Why would I do this to myself?

Well, my partner decided to take a day off work so we could go to a local Safari Park and we told our son who is very excited.

The local Safari Park is closed and doesn’t open for the season till March 7th.

And he is so excited we cannot not go, such are the times we live in, where children rule adults – or maybe I just like elephants too…

I shall tweet from the bengal tiger enclosure none the less.

Where were we <<— ooh that’s a lovely pattern of letters isn’t it? It almost looks wrong!

Erm…

Can you tell I am a bit overloaded?

Twitter?

TED?

Yes, that was it…

So, this evening I went to my Adults with Aspergers group.

Still obsessing about TED I talked to our resident psychology student about it.

I hypothesised that happiness is generated by certainty. Synthesized happiness starts by accepting the things we cannot change.

So I went on to think, when we make firm decisions and discount all variables it should follow that we will be happy about them.

The problem with having Aspergers (for me) is that I like to calculate all possible risks and variables before pursuing an option.

The problem with variables (according to Dan Gilbert) is they seem to add up to unhappiness.

The point being there is a high incidence of suicide and depression among adults with autism.

With happiness in mind, we then went on to define LOVE, a deeper and more complex story perhaps.

It would seem I either have an over simplistic view of LOVE or no idea whatsoever.

The answer to that will be in the book reviews I guess.

My Grandfather taught me the best ideas are the simplest!

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I am going to close the Duran Duran Access All Areas Competition on Sunday 1st March at midnight.

Thank you for all your wonderful entries.

In the interest of fairness as I know some of the entrants, I am going to ask Todd Silva at http://giveawayadollaraday.com to judge the competition.

The whole idea of giving away the passes is an extension of this brilliant program.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

It was brought to my attention in a call last night ‘I DO NOT WANT’ to let go of the Duran Duran Access All Areas tour passes I am giving away in the competition I am running.

I have an attachment to them.

There is a block.

It was suggested I should wait till I am ready to give them away. Agreed, but I want to stretch.

For me it is a clearing exercise.

I am choosing to clear the block and let go.

So what is it?

What is the block?

From a logical stand point the passes have no use to me whatsoever.

Yes, they represent my memories of 15 years touring with Duran Duran as a synthesiser programmer, but beyond that they are pieces of plastic kicking around my house.

The idea that they may be worth $100 each on eBay is of no interest to me either.

I can think of easier ways of making $100.

So where is it?

Where is the block?

What am I trying to remain in control of and why won’t I let go?

It doesn’t end there either.

I have another competition running. It has NO entries. Again it is blocked. And if there is a block, the block must be in me.

The second competition is for a £500 motorcycle. The beneficiary will be a teenager.

The teenager has to find a mentor to win. Someone who will commit to training them how to build a bike. The idea being that the skills to build a bike will be passed to the next generation of bike builders. There is no shortage of mentors willing to pass on their knowledge – so again it has to be me.

The second competition is really important to me. When I have the money, my ambition is to set up a transport museum. I want to employ master craftsmen, old guys in their sixties and seventies and I want to employ teenagers and have the old guys teach them to be craftsmen.

But I thought, why wait till I have the money. I have a spare motorcycle I could give away. Why don’t I start doing it now?

I decided to do one of the exercises in my book to see if I could find a solution.

What came to mind surprised me.

It was a story of mistrust.

And my mistrust stems from a belief I inherited, a belief that is somewhat harder to shift than one I created the evidence for.

My story goes, when my Grandfather retired, he decided to sell his large country farm and put his money into stocks and bonds.

Local developers approached him to buy individual plots to build on, but my Grandfather refused to sell the farm as anything other than a going concern.

He was a genuine farmer and grew broccoli, kept cows, sheep and pigs and while he made a lot of money from spring cabbage, he liked to do a bit of everything.

He even wrote a book or two and you can find “Good Pig Keeping” and “Good Sheep Farming” on Amazon or eBay by running a search for Noel Lea Tinley

Anyway after all the offers and schemes, he finally found someone to sell the farm to and settled into retirement.

He didn’t aim to get the best price he could, he aimed to keep the farm together as a going concern.

So what happened?

Within months of buying the farm, the purchaser had planning permission and was selling it off as plots.

They even converted the barn into flats.

What is left of the farm today?

A single undeveloped field which belongs to my father and his two siblings.

I believe I know how he felt.

In my book The Logic Of Attraction I talk a lot about challenging beliefs. I actually say:

Find new evidence to challenge them. If you know their origin, check in with the person you inherited them from.
Make sure you got the right end of the stick. Maybe the person has cleared that belief for himself or herself, changed their mind, or learned something new since they taught you?

So I checked in with Dad today and I asked how Grandfather Noel had coped with what had happened.

It seems I have made up my own story about it. My story is that it really bothered him.

The reality of it is that after the farm sold, he lost interest. He had the money for his retirement and when he died, my Grandmother had plenty of money until her death.

I think my version of the story is the source of my block and I have been avoiding making the same mistake.

So, I guess I need to look at what it would mean if someone sold the things I am giving away and profited from the proceeds.

I guess I would feel like I had been suckered. (How I think my Grandfather must have felt).

I guess the DURAN DURAN competition is complex so that I can make sure the winner is not a profiteer.

I guess the motorcycle competition is the same.

Should I choose the wrong person to give the prize to?

I would feel like a bit of an idiot.

Can I trust that the Universe will guide me to give it to exactly the right person?

Yes, I think I can.

In LOVE, enjoy my competitions and I look forward to picking the winners soon.

Duran competition here: http://aspergineering.com/blog/index.php/2009/02/access-all-areas

Motorcycle competition here: http://www.britchopper.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14939

See you on the other side of the looking glass,