I was in ASDA supermarket with my partner, a rare occurance, I promise.
We were looking for something.
I walked around an aisle and jumped about a foot backwards with my hands in the air and shouted.
“AAAAAAAAARRGH!” then shaking violently, “Whoa!”
“I know, she’s very scarey isn’t she” the mother of a little girl piped up.
Her small three or four year old daughter was standing in the front of a shopping trolley looking completely and utterly bewildered. (I think).
My partner was looking at me, shocked and bemused.
“Sorry, she made me jump”.
“What on earth was that, that poor child, why did you do that?” Gina asked me. “She’ll get a hang up about it now”.
“I have absolutely no idea”, slightly confused “she just made me jump, it was unexpected”.
Children you see, are terrifying. Even my own children, who should know better.
Why?
Because they turn up in inexpected places without warning.
There had been an apparition of a child face where I would have expected to see an five foot tall adult face.
Who Do Voodoo? You Do!
So they are in my face, invading my aura, hanging off my pockets, kicking my shins, threateing my balls and now, unexpectedly appearing at armpit height with no logical statement to explain what they are doing there.
They don’t follow patterns either.
I like patterns, they are safe.
Even my predictable chaos is patterned and has its own complex structure.
But unpredictable kids!
Go and be hyperactive somewhere else…
See you on the other side of the looking glass,
mark ty-wharton, creative thinker | innovator | visionary
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Despite having been diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia in the past, I often wonder what the doctor could have been thinking.
