mark ty-wharton

blog.aspergineering.com

I have just returned from giving a talk in Cambridge about my experience of CBT.

While my intention is to benefit the people listening, the open discussion that followed proved to be useful as well.

I got to remember the human brain makes shortcuts, I make the processing of creative tasks simpler for you to undertake.

Though you consciously learn things, once we have done the steps a number of times, the brain will simply log the routine and go on auto pilot, your “aware” thought processes can be used for other things.

This situation = this result, without having to think out each step.

For example, if I learn to be afraid of dogs, rather than taking all the steps needed to initiate a fight or flight response, all that needs happen is for someone to say the word DOG and the adrenal glands will put me into a heightened state of alertness.

I won’t remember the first twenty or so times I encountered DOG, I got bitten by one, or it at least looked as if it would bite me again if it could get off the leash!

So I got to see where I have re-programmed some of MY dog thinking this evening.

As I talked through a couple of things I said things like “yes, well in that scenario, I do…” and then found I needed to correct myself and say “used to do…”

I got to see movement.

I was there, now I am here. You are here to!

You probably need a reminder to buy my book, or one of my audio products. You do that when you visit my Lulu store after you finish enjoying the blog.

I haven’t entirely solved social anxiety (if I choose to look at it as a problem), but I have created some new routines that don’t even entertain the old possibilities in certain situations.

Something else came to light too, as I looked through my medical notes to research my speech.

At each stage along the way, mental health services have discharged me after a few sessions.

What is missing for me is, I need ongoing help with some areas of my life.

Each time I need help with something I go to the doctor and ask for a new referral, which leads to a new assessment and so on.

The process of referral and assessment sometimes takes months.

Then after six sessions, I get discharged.

Surely, this is a total waste of resources.

I will ALWAYS be autistic. And I would be fair to say after 44 years of consistent diagnosis, anxiety is not going to just disappear.

I am actually going for another assessment tomorrow, to start the whole process again.

Okay, I am the guy who wrote a FREE eBook suggesting it is possible to view anxiety as an extreme sport.

At 46 however, there are some social situations that could be handled another way, rather than surfing through them on a fu*king roller coaster

So there’s ups and downs. What I can handle today may be tomorrow’s problem. And your problem child may become the perfect adult and inspire millions!

Surely it would be cheaper to provide mental health services to high functioning autistic patients on an ongoing and as needed basis?

Put all my medical notes in a central database, perhaps organised into key areas of ability and disability so that whoever is assigned to help me can easily see where I am at.

Food for thought perhaps?

As I said, I am here. You are here to!

Browse around, read more here… Visit my Lulu store!

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

mark ty-wharton, creative thinker | innovator | visionary

Buy my book now: http://stores.lulu.com/logicofattraction

Listen to my podcast: http://podcast.aspergineering.com

Blog via email: http://subscribe.aspergineering.com

Schedule me to speak at your event: http://www.autismhero.com

Tweet with me on twitter http://twitter.com/mark_tywharton

blog.aspergineering.com

It is not really social networking in the same sense as FaceBook is it?

And I have an opinion about why Twitter works.

As a long term Internet user (since CIX back in 1990) I am going to make a simple observation about a few trends.

I have used AOL and MSN style messengers to communicate with my friends and acquaintances for a long time.

I also use SMS to communicate on my phone, where speaking might not be appropriate.

It has become second nature to send and recieve messages in both the above ways.

Twitter follows a similar format to SMS.

As most of my messenger based friends are on Twitter, I DM them instead of using messenger.

Half the time I forget and simply bang out an @ message.

And there in lies the rub.

It is easy to forget, Twitter is not a private messenger or SMS service.

It is easy to slip and divulge personal details about my life, once out there, I can be amused by my own candidity, or shamefully embarrassed.

If I choose to be amused, my ego tends to want to follow the same path to more amusement.

Tee hee, I just stuck my willy in the toaster!

In the not so distant past Jonathan Ross was having private conversations with his lovely wife Jane, which were fascinating to follow.

Why?

Because human beings, including me, by nature are intrinsically nosey.

Our curiosity drives us to follow people, just to find out what they are up to.

What makes them tick?

The simple truth!

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

mark ty-wharton, creative thinker | innovator | visionary

Buy my book now: http://stores.lulu.com/logicofattraction

Listen to my podcast: http://podcast.aspergineering.com

Blog via email: http://subscribe.aspergineering.com

Schedule me to speak at your event: http://www.autismhero.com

Tweet with me on twitter http://twitter.com/mark_tywharton

blog.aspergineering.com

I have been watching a BBC television series we currently have here in the UK called “The Speaker”.

It follows a competition to find Britain’s best young speaker.

Something struck me.

One of the judges told one of the participants not to ask the audience a question in a speech then not answer it.

Apparently it is bad speaking practice not to “wrap up”.

Okay, here’s another bit of bad speaking practice…

Bollocks!!!

So, if you listen to my podcast it is thought provoking.

Why?

Because I ask questions and leave you thinking.

If you read my blog, you’ll find I often do the same.

People want to be told the answers because they don’t get asked enough questions.

We are told what to do through life by teachers, politicians and others.

And at the end of the day most of them will actually admit they don’t really know what they are doing!

So here I go again…

I have been thinking about integrity.

If I buy something from someone and it is priced £950 plus tax and the vendor tells me they will knock of the tax if I pay cash, am I out of integrity if I buy it?

Answers in the comments please…

Second scenario…

If a tradesman comes to repair something and tells me it is £45.67 plus tax, then tells me he will do it for £40 cash without putting it through the books, am I out of integrity of I choose this option?

I’ll go on to say, the legal answer isn’t the right answer.

For example an anarchist who paid taxes would be out of integrity.

And I am not saying I am an anarchist and another person’s tax is their issue, however, in the grand scheme of things, who am I, if enable another to break the law?

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

On November 4th I wrote; You Are One Of 1600 People Reading This

And according to my stats this is the day my RSS feed peaked.

Since then it has been a constantly evolving readership with what seems to be a lot of coming and going.

Where are you going and what did I originally do to achieve this peak.

At this particular point in time I was speaking specifically about what to do to enhance creativity and giving away a free mp3 creativity program as an incentive to sign up via email.

In case you don’t know, I now give away the first two chapters of my book.

A book I am going to sell 67 million copies of (representing 1% of the population, the estimate number of people with Aspergers).

Okay the book is not specifically written for people with Aspergers, I’ll grant you that it is written by someone with Aspergers. Different, because I have a special interest in what makes people tick and therefore a unique understanding of how to communicate, albeit mainly in writing.

The reason I am mentioning my previous blog is because last night I was thinking about how to generate 1000 book sales a week.

To see what had been working and what had not, I looked at my stats.

There are two significant peaks.

People read my blog the day after I announced a free mp3 creativity program for their iPod.

People read my blog the day after I announced a free eBook about how to master panic attacks.

I read the blog about creativity and followed some of my own advice.

• Give a problem to your subconscious to play with just before bed. Run over the circumstances and trust that the solution will come to you as you wake. You may wake several times throughout the course of the night so keep a dictaphone under your pillow to record any ideas you may have.

I actually sleep with an iPhone under my pillow and use it to listen to affirmation or other people’s positive mental attitude material (my current favourite it Amy Flynn’s Money Reiki Meditation). Why? Because it is teaching me to relax about money!

I also use it to record my podcasts (usually the second I wake up when the ideas are really fresh).

I posed the problem how do I sell 1000 books a week until I have sold 67 million books.

Then I had a bit of a realisation.

If I want to sell 67 million books it would take more than 1,288 years to sell them if I sell 1000 a week.

Yes, I will be here in a hundred years, no doubt about that!

I don’t think I will see the year 3297 though so I need a rethink.

Imagine I want to sell 67 million books in 10 years?

That is 6.7 million books per year

Or 128,846 books per week.

In comparison, you are a tiny core following. But, you can help me to do this!

1. If you haven’t done so already register for the blog and receive Chapter 1&2 of LOA FREE!

2. Take two hours out of your schedule to read it.

3. Buy the book from Amazon, it is only $9 including shipping.

4. Read the rest of it, learn how to clear negative programming and find out about your primary directive.

5. Tell all your friends about my blog and my book and ask them to sign up too.

What will you get in return?

A planet where one percent of the population live life based on the principals of integrity and love.

Think about the difference that would make!

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I watched a really interesting talk about synthesizing happiness on TED earlier. It was so good I recommended everyone watch it and have talked about it all day. (Thanks Amy – @allaboutenergy).

Before I continue, I apologise for being somewhat overloaded through lack of sleep. I am speaking in a competition tomorrow night and have not written the speech yet. In fact I barely know what I am supposed to do.

Call it self sabotage if you like, I am also going to drive 100 miles to go to a Safari Park. We are leaving at 08:00am… It’s midnight now…

Why would I do this to myself?

Well, my partner decided to take a day off work so we could go to a local Safari Park and we told our son who is very excited.

The local Safari Park is closed and doesn’t open for the season till March 7th.

And he is so excited we cannot not go, such are the times we live in, where children rule adults – or maybe I just like elephants too…

I shall tweet from the bengal tiger enclosure none the less.

Where were we <<— ooh that’s a lovely pattern of letters isn’t it? It almost looks wrong!

Erm…

Can you tell I am a bit overloaded?

Twitter?

TED?

Yes, that was it…

So, this evening I went to my Adults with Aspergers group.

Still obsessing about TED I talked to our resident psychology student about it.

I hypothesised that happiness is generated by certainty. Synthesized happiness starts by accepting the things we cannot change.

So I went on to think, when we make firm decisions and discount all variables it should follow that we will be happy about them.

The problem with having Aspergers (for me) is that I like to calculate all possible risks and variables before pursuing an option.

The problem with variables (according to Dan Gilbert) is they seem to add up to unhappiness.

The point being there is a high incidence of suicide and depression among adults with autism.

With happiness in mind, we then went on to define LOVE, a deeper and more complex story perhaps.

It would seem I either have an over simplistic view of LOVE or no idea whatsoever.

The answer to that will be in the book reviews I guess.

My Grandfather taught me the best ideas are the simplest!

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

As a regular reader of my blog, you will know I participate in Todd Silva’s http://giveawayadollaraday.com program, except I use a pound.

The basic idea of the program is giving. The best thing about the program is the person who runs it. As far as I can tell, he hasn’t set this up as a front to market anything else and his website has truly inspired me.

It is a very refreshing find and I am enjoying a game that only costs a pound a day to play.

It seems almost impossible to follow anything these days without being bombarded with strategies designed to attract things into your life.

I am not saying things are bad, in fact should you choose to read my book, you will find I have a slightly different take on things.

Things remind us of a time when we could still remember who we really are. And I am always learning new ways to be me. Sometimes I am winning at it and other times I am fighting to stay alive and thinking about ways to get more things.

Despite all this, like everything else in self-development, peel back a belief system and another will show up.

So yes, with everything I already know about the Universe, I will freely admit to strategising.

It is part of the human condition, even if your goal is not to to be a strategist!

I caught myself running away with an idea in our Love Tribe Mastermind group today.

I came up with a brilliant strategy for my friend to get paid more for something and I was shocked at my own ingenuity.

That is not to say there was anything wrong with the idea of being paid money, large corporations put strategies in place to get us to buy more all the time.

But… I am not a large corporation and my job in the universe is not to get people to buy more things.

In contrast, what I noticed was, I had already played my pound.

I put it in an impossible to miss place in the gentlemen’s bathroom earlier.

What I realised was, I have played my pound long enough, that there is no expectation of there being anything in it for me.

Each day I take a pound coin and place it somewhere and give it up.

If I notice a strategy forming, I give that up too.

I have come to accept the Universe knows more about my pound than I do.

Each day I am simply an instrument for the flow of the money energy in the Universe.

The Universe is going to decide to whence and wither my pound goes.

Then I had a realisation about the energy of my book.

I am in this hellish place where I am anxious about getting the message out to people.

But you and I know it is not my job to do that.

You only have to listen to my podcast this week to realise a man with Aspergers is not designed to connect with you and sell you something. That’s not what I do.

What I asked my mastermind group today was “how do I sell more books?”

What I got was “find a literary agent” and “go with a major international publisher”.

When I was asked “so will you do this task this week Mark?” my answer was “Yes, except I am sick of strategising. All I really want to do is write”.

I have a really lovely vision of me churning out books and speaking with my publisher from time to time.

When the Mastermind meeting was over, I went to the bathroom.

Guess what I found?

I found a pound.

It was in the same place I left mine, and what was really interesting was, no-one else had found it.

From my heart, I knew it wasn’t my pound.

I had already given mine away and had no expectation I would ever get it back.

This was a symbolic gesture from the Universe.

I started to run a strategy about leaving it there and it being good karma to do so.

But… I saw in that moment I was actually open to receiving it, for the first time ever, I got “the Universe wants to give to you Mark, are you willing to accept”.

That pound was there for me and I chose to accept it.

It won’t ever work again as a strategy which is what makes it so beautiful.

Realisation is a subtle shift…

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I called Kindred Spirit Magazine today and spoke with Tania, in editorial.

I asked her if she had received my book for review.

Apparently Kindred Spirit receive a hundred books a month and only pick a handful to read.

Mine is not it her hand

I asked the question, “so what can I do to have you review my book, if I sent you fifty copies would it help?”.

“I don’t know” she said, “why would you want to do that?”

“Perhaps it would increase my chances, statistically” I replied.

I was met with stunned silence, then she said, “this conversation is really weird, I don’t think I’ve had a conversation like this before”.

“I’ll explain that” I said, “I have Aspergers and I don’t always subscribe to doing things in a socially acceptable way, I want you to read my book because it is a different take on the kind of stuff you normally review and it’s well written, humorous and even enlightening”.

Longer stunned silence, then eventually.

“Erm, how do I know the other one hundred books I receive which are all equally well written are not more worthy of a review” she replied.

“Okay, I’ll give you that” I said, “you won’t until you’ve read mine, so if you won’t review my book, then why don’t you send someone to interview me about it? You could do that”.

“Erm, erm, err…”

She almost seemed to want to…

Except, she went on to tell me all the reasons why a bi-monthly publication found it so hard to fit relevant and current material that was journalistically appropriate into their magazine and how by the time she had interviewed me it would be too late and wouldn’t be news any more.

“I can help you with that” I said, “I am sure I can manage something newsworthy, when would you like me to do it?”.

“Look, NO” she said.

I wonder if she would have these limiting beliefs if she had read the first chapter of my book, I thought.

“Okay, I’ll accept your NO for the moment” I said, “however should you choose to change your mind, please don’t hesitate to call me”.

“Well I won’t forget this call that’s for sure” she replied, “you are certainly persistent”.

“I am” I said. “I really appreciate your time and look forward to speaking with you again”.

I put down the phone and smiled at my own authenticity.

If you would like to see a review of my book in Kindred Spirit, please email tania.ahsan@metropolis.co.uk and ask her to write one.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I am mildly amused…

No-one has left…

More people bought the book, thank you. I hope you enjoy it.

I also received a number of really kind comments. Thank you again.

So what am I attracting?

The perfect marketing strategy?

More evidence that what I am saying is valid!

Certainly more evidence that Chapter XI is the most important piece of information I can ever tell you.

For me, it is easy and always has been the answer to the Universe and everything.

Thank you.

With this in mind, I had an interesting experience recently which I am going to share with you.

I hide something about myself for fear of ridicule.

I actually secretly help a lot of people using autistic intuitive problem solving. Gently nudging them in the right direction, often without them even knowing, sometimes without me even knowing!

This is very hard to write about. I am cringing a bit and wondering if I should continue.

Certain things happen to me all the time and I am starting to think there is something more to the way I unwaveringly know certain things (than autism alone).

An example:

I’ll change the names a little because the story itself is true.

I was speaking with my friend Jane about her brother Dave.

She was telling me how her brother was stuck somewhere in the snow and was in a panic because he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.

“Where is he, that he’s not supposed to be?” I asked.

“Well”, said Jane, “Dave has a girlfriend and he is seeing someone else”.

“Do I know them?” I said.

“Yes”

It could have been one of thirty people and I looked at her without really thinking about it and said “So, he’s shagging Mary”.

Jane blinked, cocked her head to one side and muttered something.

“Wow, am I right?” I ventured…

“I can’t tell you” replied Jane.

My biggest problem at this point is, I have no idea what the blink meant.

As a man with Aspergers, I am face blind. I cannot read facial expressions beyond smile and frown. Anything else is a blur.

I studied her face really carefully looking for signs, any sign at all, of anything.

I kinda felt like a German trying to understand Japanese.

The tiny creases on her face revealed nothing.

“Am I right?” I asked “Please tell me”.

“Well all I can say is you are very psychic” she replied.

The skin on the back of my neck crackled into life and I felt my face flushing. Goose bumps came up on my arms.

“That’s mental” I said, astounded. “How the f*ck could I possibly know that, out of all the people on the planet, her!!!”

Slightly bewildered Jane sheepishly revealed I was right and said “for God’s sake don’t tell anyone”.

She has goose bumps at this point too.

Since changing my diet from alcohol and marmite on toast to super-juice, salads, high protien snacks and dark chocolate, I have become something of a receiver for this kind of information.

I am not clairvoyant, I don’t hear voices and I wouldn’t say I was psychic in the classic sense.

But…

I know stuff.

I read into things.

I intuit.

I was at the local paper today to see a reporter. She asked me what my book was about and I started to explain Law Of Attraction.

I know she wasn’t getting it.

I know she will when she reads the book.

Maybe it would be truer to say…

The book is an intuitive message from my visionary soul.

Apparently I am teaching the same things as some of the newest philosophies around, some so new you won’t have heard of them yet.

Now, being brutally honest…

Everyone I know personally who has bought the book is currently ill.

It’s a difficult book to read, because it is transformative.

It is a difficult book to buy because the subject matter is confronting.

If you are reading it, you are a pioneer for change. Thank you.

After writing it, I then read it back and got a whole load of stuff about myself I didn’t know!

I am currently reading it again and I am stuck on Chapter IV

It’s hard work?

Wow, another belief maybe?

Like – I can’t market books…

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

blog.aspergineering.com

I have been speaking with an old friend about one of his consciousness expanding drug experiences and he has kindly agreed to do an interview for a future podcast.

We noted during our conversation that his experience more than likely mirrored the experience of someone with classic autism. He is not the first person I have spoken to about this and is unlikely to be the last.

He basically lost all sense of reality, melted into and entered the void.

Don’t worry, he wasn’t driving.

Then I suggested that there was significant irony in the fact that human beings strive to achieve oneness while at the same time striving to cure autism and have people who are experiencing the oneness, people with no conscious understanding of the illusion of reality, be like us.

This is possibly a delicate area, particularly for someone who has a severely autistic child.

Has our culture got it all wrong?

We put Osho on a platinum pedestal to teach us autism and yet organisations like ARC struggle to get funding.

As an Aspergerian, I have spent years conditioning myself to communicate with neuro-typical people and do a very good job of it.

In learning, I have even understood neuro-typical problems and can act as an interpreter between the neuro-tribe and the aspie-tribe.

I communicate well with both groups.

If only there were someone who could interpret for classic autism?

Then perhaps we wouldn’t need Osho?

See you on the other side of the looking glass,